current mood: I NEED A JOB MOOD. Is there such mood? Bahh.

1:47 PM wen my family is sleeping, dreaming sweet dreams.
im wide awake, crying, trying not to see.
dat im not that happy girl you see with a big beautiful smile.
im the girl whom is bleeding terribly inside, so broken.
and i have to face the real world everyday.
dat is filled with disappointed and hurt.
i feel so alone, in a crowded room.
i feel cold, when the sun is shining.
i feel unloved, surrounded by ma friends.
i feel ignored, so doomed.
wen my friends are out having fun, im alone in my room wondering y.
im so different from everyone else, so unique and sad.
i feel so scared, when there is nothing to fear.
i feel so torn, but still in one piece.
i feel distant yet some cruel towards the people around me.
i feel death, i can feel it near.
ma frens..
they try to understand ma pain, my feelings.
but they end up lost in my mind that's pretending.
to be lighthearted, when I'm about to exploded with anger.
i can't forget my past, present, and future.
im so tired of feelings of loneliness.
sitting in the dark, crying, full with regret.
i feel like i have noone to trust.
doI have bad judgment or am i just too nice?