current mood: I NEED A JOB MOOD. Is there such mood? Bahh.

1:48 AM "i will olwaes be here fer ya"
dats wad we usually told each other
ever since we became frens
but i dun see u there when i nid u
even if i did
i dun tynk i will end up bein happy
coz i noe it will onli hurt me
i asked u fer help, solutions to ma problem
sometimes u helped me
i appreciate dat ma dear
but most of e tyme,
all u do is 2 blame me fer bein too 'problematic' person
n gave me e facial xpression dat u dun even care
dat reali hurts me lyke HELL i tell u
if u're not sincere bout it
juz tell me in e face
dun pretend to be ma fren
pls dun

all dis while i appreciate u fer bein ma fren
i reali do
i do it sincerely
i dun pretend
wen u shared ur problems wif me
i wil imagine maself in dat position
n gave u ma best solution to help u solve e problem

most of e daes
u hurt ma feelings
tellin other people ard abt ma silly-ness
n spoke some hurtful sentences , n showed dat u were not jokin bout it
i tell u i do take sarcastic jokes
n dat sumtymes, i may be sarcastic as well
but dat is lyke once in a while
but u did dat most of e tyme
n sometymes, people ard us saw e way u treat me
i was kinda ashamed bout it
i mean who won't?
i noe dat sumtymes u're not in a good mood
but is dat a good reason y u hafta treat me dat way?
do u lyke if i were to treat u dat way
n after dat i gave e reason im not in a good mood
would u be able to accept dat?

*sigh*
i juz dun wana end dis frenship
n i dun wana be enemies wif any of ma frens

but i cant stand it
im juz wondering y
y did u treat me dat way?
y?
i juz dun get it y u shud treat me dat way
wen i treat u well enuf

only now
i decided to tell u
if u hate me
pls tell me
i can easily walk outta ya lyfe
i wld do dat
yes, i would
rather than havin to suffer all dis

if dat dae were to come into ma lyfe
ma last werds fer ya wld be

"Thanks fer being ma fren all dis while. Weder its an act or not, I dun reali care. During those daes, i've regard ourselves as frens.Sadly, our friendship hafta end here.It's not 'Friends Forever' dat i hope fer.All e best in ur lyfe,ma dear fren"

wif a hurtful feeling n a pretending smile in ma face, i'll walk away.